Sometimes being an adult is hard. It’s difficult when you realize no one cares. It’s tough when your friends know less that you do. Life is really hard when you’re stupid. Most of us are not stupid as we are stubborn. We don’t seek help or try again after we fail. I am here to tell you that failure isn’t final. I’m a survivor. I made it to middle age. I didn’t get here playing it safe either. One of the things I did right was listen to older guys. There is nothing new under the sun. The same problems you are going through or will encounter have been around since the beginning of time.
The best that ever did it, and got away with it.
Why Old People Are Grumpy
One of the reasons some old people are cranky is because they are mad. They are mad that by the time they got their Shitake plate together, they were too old to make a difference, make a change or pass on the knowledge. Regrets and frustrations abound. They are also mad because they have screwed up the relationship with people they want to share information with. They didn’t communicate, they lied or screwed up and can’t reestablish the trust they lost.
Life is easy. We make it hard.
You give less attention to living when you are young than you do as you get older. When we finally start to consider where we might end up, we start planning for the future. Not everyone does this. Some seem to come out the gate with a plan. Those that do are often following someone elses’ plan for them. I have seen that person, succeed, and throw it all away when they realize it was not their goal but someone elses’.
When do you know what you want? It is a combination of self realization, environment and desire. You have to be comfortable with you. You have to want to change, improve and grow. It may suggest to you that you have to move from your physical location. I know many people that fear moving. Your environment can change your outlook and opportunities. If you were fishing and not successful, it would be smart to move your boat or change your position on hte shore to a different area, right? Somehow we search for success in relationships, jobs in the same pond when there is are oceans, seas, rivers, lakes and other ponds available.
So here I go.
I am launching this blog, a new podcast in 2020 basically sharing every positive, helpful and enjoyable thing I have learned to help you be a better adult. Because I have been podcasting since 2007, I have decided to niche the show down to just men’s issues but its what I know.
Are you happy with your career choice? It’s tougher to find a job in some places than others. Are you prepared to get the job you want?
Dating these days is a little different in some ways than it was when I was doing it. But I was “doing it.” Even though social media has entered our world, people are still the same. People still want the same things. Men aren’t much different than we were before but society has made it easier to be lazy, give less, and take more. Acceptable culture have upset the apple cart. It is still a good thing. It still can help you live a better life. There is someone out there for you, but its probably not the one you are with now.
Marriage is one of the most misrepresented and misunderstood institutions we have. It is not for everyone. There is a reason so many end in divorce. It has not been entered into with understanding. We quit too easy.
Networking is still the best way to learn and gain. We were not born into this world alone. There are billions of people out here. Someone is throwing away what you need. Someone has the key to the door you want to go through. Someone you have never met wants to help you. You will never find them, on your block, in your ‘hood, or at home.
Communicating is the magic sauce to getting what you want in life. Being able to relay your thoughts, needs, and intentions is huge. It is important to be able to talk to different people, to the opposite sex, to managers and children. If you can “talk” you can win.
Finding your purpose is a lifelong goal. The secret is you can change it as many times as you want. Don’t put yourself in a box. Don’t think you can’t do anything. All you have to do is keep moving. Stagnant water starts to stink and so does a life that is not flowing.
I found some retirees that used to fish together from May to September on the third Thursday of the month in the Chesapeake Bay. They allowed me to take the place of one of the members after he had died. The time in the boat with these sages was priceless. They shared stories that had timeless lessons. Then one by one, they died. After twenty years of fishing I had heard some of the stories more than once. I can’t get you on a boat but I can share what I know with you here. It’s adulting made easy.